Saturday 27 February 2016

How to win friends and influence people

Recently i went on long vacation and took couples of books to read while i enjoy time with family.

One of the book that i read is How-Win-Friends-Influence-People by Dale Carnegie. This book is about human engineering by reading this book i came to know simple things can make big difference.

I like this book so much that i read it twice in 2 week.

This book is practical hand book for real life. Some of the principle mention in this book are

 - Don't criticize or condemn or complain.
This is the first approach that is used to fix the problem and it should never be used.

- Give honest sincere appreciation.
  He gives many example where act of appreciation change the way people look at life. 
Appreciation should be be confused with flattery(i.e cheap praise), few people likes flattery but it will do no magic as sincere appreciation will do.

People starve for appreciation same as food and it is legal tender that all soul enjoy but still we forget or avoid to appreciate somebody for years.

Dale Carnegie makes reference to below quote and i think it is one of the quote that should be read every morning.

"I shall pass this way but once any good there for that i can do or any kindness can show to any human being let me do it now , let me not defer or neglect it for i shall not pass this way again."

- Talk in terms of other people wants.
It is based on simple rule of fishing, you don't put the food that you like in the hook for fishing.

Book has many example on how to do it, some of the areas covered are below. I like the Kids example because i need is desperately. 

 - Kid not going to school
 - Feeding issue
 - Smoking issue with kid
 - Business negotiation
 - Job interviews.

Idea to make the person want to do rather than forced to do it by talking about what other person want and how he can get it.

Another quote by Henry ford refereed in book

"If there is any one secret of success it lies in ability to get the other person point of view and see things from that person angle and as well as from you own"

- Get genuinely interested in other people.

People are only interested in themselves in morning, noon & night and this was confirmed by analysis of telephone conversation to find which word is used most. 
It was word "I", it was used thousands of time in just 500 calls.

So to make friends we have to change our interest. One of the quote from book says 

"You can make more friends in 2 months by genuinely interested in other people than in 2 years trying to get other people interested in you."

- Smile
Mr Carnegie says that Smile makes us human and shares various experiment result on smile.

People likes to see smile and they smile back at you, it make us feel so much better. 
Smile brings some thing that is more valuable than $$$$, it is in terms of happiness and friendship. You are much more rich.

Smile Philosophy 

"The value of smile , it cost nothing but creates much as it enriches those who receives without loosing anything for those who gives and it happens in flash and memory last forever , none are so rich that get along with it and none so poor for its benefit. It creates happiness and it is nature best antidote for trouble."

I have long way to go in Human engineering and this book is definitely first step .

These are only few of the principal mention in book. I highly recommend this book, if you want to read only one book in 2016 then this is the book.


  1. Very nicely written
    ... each and every single word is real and actually related to human life...